Separation of Church and State

For far too long, religion has been a driving force in American public policy, and the results have been disastrous. Prohibition, the Drug War, the War On Pornography, the War on Rock Music, fights over prayer in schools, posting of the ten commandments, the teaching of evolution, the abortion debate – all have been pointless drains on the American consciousness, leaving little room for honest, reasoned debate on real issues. The separation of church and state was enshrined in the Constitution for a reason, and it would be my duty as President to uphold the Constitution. It is my belief that separation of church and state trumps freedom of speech because religion has a long history of threatening freedom of speech and persecuting those who practice it.

My Separation of Church and State initiative would ideally do the following:

1. Revoke the tax exempt status of every church that has ever become involved in politics. They have brought untold grief to the American people with their Bible thumping, and now it is time that they reap what they have sown. I do not yet have a clear plan as to how they should be taxed, but rest assured that it will take into account the large sums of money they generate. As always, I am open to suggestions

2. Eliminate the practice within courts and swearing-in ceremonies of invoking the name of God or placing hands on a Bible. Surely every Christian is familiar with what Jesus had to say about this:

"Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.' But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil. – Matthew 5:33 – 5:37

But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. – James 5:12

3. Eliminate public prayer not only in schools, but everywhere. Surely every Christian knows what Jesus had to say about praying in public:

"And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. – Matthew 6:5 – 6:6

4. Remove “In God We Trust” from our currency. Surely every Christian knows what Jesus had to say about money, which is clearly “exalted among men”:

“No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money." The Pharisees, who were lovers of money, heard all these things, and they ridiculed him. And he said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” – Luke 16:13 – 16:15

5. Limit income of any person involved in religious work to whatever the median income for families in America happens to be for the previous year. Certainly Christians should have no objection to this in light of the way Jesus clearly sees the money issue.

6. Criminalize the use of God or any religion, religious figure, or religious belief:

a) as part of any political or election campaign

b) as justification for any legislation

c) to interfere in public education

d) to engage in public policy debate

7. Require that all televangelists who claim to have healing powers and other demonstrable gifts from God obtain a license to practice. This license would be granted upon successfully demonstrating ability to an impartial licensing jury of peers.

8. Eliminate any existing Faith-Based initiatives and re-allocate those funds to appropriate, non-proselytizing organizations.

Have I missed anything?