The War On Drugs

By now, it should be clear to anyone who does not have a financial/career stake in the War On Drugs that it is probably the biggest domestic policy disaster in US history aside from slavery. As president, it would be my moral duty to end it.

Rather than justify this effort with all sorts of scientific evidence proving that this drug isn't so bad and that one isn't dangerous at all, I would simply go with the following:

"All people are responsible for their own actions. Even if those actions are committed under the influence of a substance, it is the person that is responsible because he chose to be under the influence. Is a murder any less detestable simply because the murderer was sober? It is enough to convict for offenses committed, while those who commit no offense should be left alone."

Ideally, my drug initiative would do the following:

1. Legalize possession and sale of most of the drugs that one can currently be arrested for being in possession of. The only immediate exceptions to this would be those drugs that are, in non-medical settings, primarily used to victimize others (i.e. scopalamine).

2. Regulate and tax possession and sale of said drugs in the same manner that alcohol is regulated. For our less literate citizens: This means that crack will not be sold on street corners to children any more than alcohol is now!

3. Immediately free all non-violent drug offenders who are not serving time for any other offense. Anyone who has a drug related offense on record can petition to have it stricken from their records provided that they have committed no felony offenses unrelated to drugs in principle. When possible, all property and funds seized under drug war seizure laws will be returned to those whose offenses are approved for deletion, as well as to those who were not charged or convicted of any offense.

4. Create and pass a constitutional amendment that forbids the government to even try passing a law that criminalizes adults for ingesting any food, liquid, or substance.

5. Put a system in place that guarantees addiction treatment for anyone who asks. This would be funded using taxes received from sale of said drugs, along with a substantial amount of the money the country would be saving by not fighting a War On Drugs.

6. Overhaul the drug testing industry by requiring all drug testing to reveal when a person was last considered legally impaired by the drug in question, requiring drug testing companies to disclose their false positive / false negative rates in a very prominent manner, and forbidding a) drug testing to exclude anyone from academic activities or admission; and b) drug testing to exclude candidates from employment.

7. Initiate a national drug education campaign that not only truthfully explains both the dangers and benefits of drugs, but explains the shameful history behind the War On Drugs and the outrageous falsehoods that fueled it.

8. Immediately revoke all bans on financial aid for students who have been involved in drug offenses. All universities will be required to re-admit students who may have left school because of drug-related bans. Furthermore, applicants for admission who were denied financial aid because of drug-related laws would be given special admittance priority.

This is not the final draft of this initiative. Unlike a certain president we know, I am open to suggestions, new ideas, and constructive criticism.